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Get dressed up in your best and go shopping for the best. Head down to the nicest shopping district in town and window shop in all the most expensive stores, trying on clothes and yuckin it up with the muckity mucks. Don’t buy anything. Then head on over to the closest low-priced diner and have cheap burger and shake.
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Friends with benefits.
Although this site and others like it are generally called "dating services",
not everyone signed up is looking for someone to date. You have four choices
(not counting the ubiquitous "Ask Me Later") when you fill out a profile:
Friend, Dating, Serious Relationship, or Marriage Partner.
A major category has been left out, perhaps for good reason--Friends With
Benefits. These relationships can be casual flings, random hookups, one-sided
crushes, budding romances, and anything in between. The potential for
complications, heartache, and embarrassing moments is huge. Then again, Friends
With Benefits can also provide a great deal of delicious intrigue, hilarious
stories, and of course . . . benefits.
So should we start putting ourselves on the market with taglines like "Looking
for funny, attractive, non-smoking FWB"? Or does this psuedo-relationship
deserve to be thrown into the trash heap of good ideas that just don't work,
along with Clear Pepsi, the car alarm, and those early microwaves that were
equipped with metal oven racks? Let's look at the facts while we're still
(presumably) sober, and try to remember them the next time a good friend
suggests a friendly game of strip poker.
Fact 1: For Every Night, There's a Morning After. And if you hook up with
a friend, there's a day after, and a week after, and so on. This is your
friend! You guys hang out, and you probably have a lot of mutual friends.
You may have the maturity to handle this awkwardness. I do -- if by "handle"
you mean stampeding over furniture in the desperate attempt to flee the room
whenever an FWB enters it.
Fact 2: It Doesn't Matter Who Started It. But for some reason, when rehashing
the play by play of their personal escapades, people find a sort of moral
justification in exclaiming "He/she started it!". As though you just felt
it would be impolite not to hit it with someone after they "made a move"
by touching your hand or saying hello. This game doesn't work too well when
you have the same friends, and you both tell the story. Hasta la vista
credibility, hello information you would have chosen to leave out, like
the fact that you tripped and fell over in your hurry to peel off your jeans.
Fact 3: You Know Too Much. Remember how funny it was when your friend told
you underarm hair grosses her out to the point of nausea? Or when he
confessed that he finds belly buttons extremely fascinating? Sure it was
too much information at the time, but when you suddenly find yourself in
the position to encounter these things first hand you'll realize it was
way too much. You'll both be paranoid and self-conscious if you remember
personal trivia at exactly the wrong time.
Fact 4: Friends Find Other Friends. Emotional involvement is pretty much
inevitable when you are physically involved. If you hook up with someone
on a regular basis, it automatically begins to take on the aspect of a
relationship. How will you tell your friend that despite the fact you've
been going home together for the past five weeks, this time you want to
see about that cute bartender? Rejection always hurts, especially when it's
coming from a friend.
To be fair, a lot of these problems are just part of relationships in general.
But at least you can usually turn to your friends when your love life goes
awry. Who will you turn to when your friend is part of your love life?
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